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I like how some pasta can be curly while others are straight. It's like sex. You either go in circles or go straight to your destination. If you ask me, I'd say I like both. Same shapes and pounding can be boring.

Cuffing a bloke to a chair and riding his cock for all it's worth is how I love to shag. None of those sweet and slow caresses, I want the hard fucking that would leave me aching for days on end. I want to hear throaty moans and raspy shouts.

I would be a hypocrite if I tell you that I haven't been in love with dicks ever since I turned 20. If you can only read minds, you'll find out how I love to eat them with my soft, wet lips. Want me to do it with you?

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

My blood is nothing but alcohol at this point. I can't stop myself from drinking a lot. It doesn't matter if I am downing beer, cocktails, or on the rocks, I will drink everything in sight. I enjoy the feeling of being tipsy and getting random blacko...